Internet Chatter Sometimes Makes My Head Hurt
by VengefulMoon
Summary: ...Grab a stick and swing it around. [Insipration from a fic by Khmer Jade] [Oneshot] [Crossover with Ace Combat Zero] [Rated T for slight adult theme and cement hardening humor] [Altered a few things since I thought some accounts were just sitting there]


**VM: Anybody home?**

**Kira: I'd like to say that this story has been edited for role purposes. Some of the addresses weren't used at all.  
**

**VM: I don't own anything. On with the show!

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Internet Chatter (Sometimes) Makes My Head Hurt

(Inspired by a fic that I read, which is written by Khmer Jade. By the way, this is a crossover with Ace Combat 0.)

Usernames and alternates (second accounts and the like) in this story, as well as their personal messages:

SoD (Seraph of Darkness) / ADFX-01 – I have no future if everything's insane and hilarious. – Testament "Cipher" Zala (A/N: Yes, I took the name "Cipher" from Ace Combat Zero: The Belkan War. So I don't own it!)

ADFX-02 – "Yo, Buddy. Still alive?" – Larry "Pixy" Foulke

Kira Yamato – I'm married to Lacus! The happiest day of my life! – It's obvious, isn't it?

Songstress of the PLANTs – Kira and I are newlyweds! – Lacus Clyne

ZGMF-X19A Infinite Justice Gundam (or just X19A for those who can't read long names) – I will protect Cagalli! – Athrun Zala

Akatsuki – I'm not an ordinary girl. Watch what you're doing or I'll pummel you! – Cagalli Yula Athha

Alster – My dad's dead and now I'm going to kill you all – Flay, of course. -.-;

DieHardZakuWarrior – Shinn! Come here and let's have some fun! – Lunamaria Hawke

UrgeToKillAll – Lunamaria, get away from me! – Shinn Asuka

Blonde-Soldier – This can't end well. – Stellar Loussier

ControlledByGilbert – My life sucks. – Rey Za Burrel

IAmTheRulerOfAll – I control everyone! – Gilbert Durandal

GoH (God of Hatred) – A last will and testament to all fools who stand in my way. – Angelo Yamato

VinoRules – You know that you like me! – Obvious hit…

IHateCipher – I want to kill him now, he nearly killed me. – Dearka Elsman

Neider'sBuddy – I am stupid for this. – Sting Oakley

NeiderHimself – (No personal message) – Auel, of course.

IWantToKillDearka – He sucks. – Miriallia Haw

ILoveAGirlNamedLN – Shoot Testament's (bleep) head off! – Yzak Joule

TearShield Alchemist – "If you die, I'll kill you!" – Zolo, One Piece – Guest appearance by LN.

SubordinateOfYzak – I think you're all insane. – Shiho Hahnenfuss

SoD's Wife – We've been married for 2 years now. – Meyrin Hawke

* * *

9:00 PM. 

SoD has signed on.

Alster has signed on.

GoH has signed on.

Blonde-Soldier has signed on.

DieHardZakuWarrior has signed on.

UrgeToKillAll has signed on.

Akatsuki has signed on.

IWantToKillDearka has signed on.

X19A has signed on.

Songstress of the PLANTs has signed on.

Kira Yamato has signed on.

SoD's Wife has signed on.

IHateCipher has signed on.

TearShield Alchemist has signed on.

Neider'sBuddy has signed on.

ControlledByGilbert has signed on.

SoD says: Anyone in here?

Alster says: I am.

Neider'sBuddy says: Me too.

VinoRules has signed on.

VinoRules says: Did I miss anything?

IHateCipher says: Kill Cipher! Kill Cipher! Kill-AUGH! (gets strangled by Miriallia)

IWantToKillDearka says: Get rid of Elsman's remains, please.

GoH: On it. (does what Milly said)

TearShield Alchemist says: Awkward and funny! Er…well, except for the fact that Dearka is officially dead.

Blonde-Soldier: May he rest in peace...

IHateCipher says: I'M NOT DEAD!

TearShield Alchemist says: O.O

GoH says: Holy…

SoD says: Great, just great.

IWantToKillDearka says: …Just die already!

Neider'sBuddy says: …Yeah, go to hell ya little brat!

TearShield Alchemist says: (drags Dearka to weird room and tortures him)

IHateCipher says: OUCH! QUIT IT!

IAmTheRulerOfAll has joined the conversation.

SoD says: Great. Now Durandal is mixed in this.

IAmTheRulerOfAll says: You suck!

SoD says: (beats up Gilbert and leaves his bruised body in a cement mixer)

TearShield Alchemist says: O.O OMG! OMG! OMG! OMDG! He just dumped him in a cement mixer!

Akatsuki says: OMGWTFBBQ!

ControlledByGilbert says: Am I free now?

VinoRules says: Heck yeah, you're free.

ControlledByGilbert says: Then can I run free blowing up stuff now?

VinoRules says: You're going to need your own ZAFT for that.

ControlledByGilbert says: Awwwww... (pouts)

SoD says: ...Za Burrel can pout?

SoD's Wife says: Never knew he was such a kid.

X19A says: (gulp) This isn't going to end well.

DieHardZakuWarrior says: I agree. (nods)

UrgeToKillAll says: Crappy day. Just a stupid and crappy day.

NeiderHimself has joined the conversation.

Blonde-Soldier says: …What the hell are you doing here?

NeiderHimself says: Nothin'. Just wanna get on 'cause it's getting boring in my room.

SoD says: Seems Auel is in the mix, too.

Neider's Buddy says: You think? (scoffs)

SoD says: Whatever.

SoD's Wife says: Now what're we going to do?

SoD says: Probably something stupid. As Confucius say: Do not be dumb or you head be kicked in a sewer.

SoD's Wife says: I don't think Confucius said that.

SoD says: I know, but it's good to improvise.

SoD has signed off.

Akatsuki says: Why did he leave just now?

ADFX-01 has joined the conversation.

ADFX-01 says: To access this account.

Akatsuki says: That name of yours…it's the serial number of the Falken, correct?

ADFX-01 says: You're on the mark, Cagalli.

ADFX-02 has joined the conversation.

ADFX-01 says: Well, hello, Buddy.

ADFX-02 says: Hey, Cipher.

Akatsuki says: You two know each other?

ADFX-01 says: When we're in the sky, we're called the Galm Team.

Akatsuki says: Wow, you mean that you're the famous "Demon King of the Round Table"?

ADFX-01 says: You're on the mark there. I am the Demon King, and Pixy is Solo Wing.

X19A says: It's an honor. (bows)

ADFX-01 says: Hey, there's no need to bow, Athrun.

X19A says: I'm just really thrilled about meeting the greatest pilots in the history of the Belkan War.

ADFX-01 says: Try getting your hand up your nose. (chuckles)

ADFX-02 says: Nice one, Cipher.

X19A says: (strangles Cipher) YOU'RE A DEAD MAN!

ADFX-02 says: This isn't going to end well.

ADFX-01 says: (kicks Athrun at the crotch, watching as he flies through the roof)

Akatsuki says: Holy crap.

ADFX-02 says: That's my Buddy for ya. He's wild as a tiger.

ADFX-01 says: Beware my blood red Falken.

Akatsuki says: A tactical laser is armed on that thing, isn't it?

ADFX-02 says: Yup. That's what he uses all the time.

X19A says: Let me guess…it's a top-notch fighter capable of destroying multitudes of other fighters (X-20 included, BTW) in one shot?

ADFX-01 says: Correct, Athrun. I've racked up quite a kill record ever since.

ADFX-02 says: And hey, at least I survived it all. Morgan was a weakling compared to the Falken.

X19A says: Lead flight of a superb squadron…that's exactly what I'd expect from you, Testament.

ADFX-02 says: Testament's your real name?

ADFX-01 says: Correct, Buddy. It's a sort of alternate identity of mine.

ADFX-02 says: Life outside of the sky. I wonder what it's like.

X19A says: Fun, wacky, and insane if you ask me. I always get in trouble thanks to him. :grumbles:

ADFX-01 says: Well, that's just your fault, doc.

ADFX-02 says:laughs out loud: Nice one, Cipher.

TearShield Alchemist says: Quite a reputation to live up to, Testament. Well, your career as an ace in the Ustio Air Force.

ADFX-01 says: How in the world did you know that I worked for Ustio?

TearShield Alchemist says: Just guessed.

ADFX-01 says: Ooookay…

Songstress of the PLANTs says: Ustio? What's that place?

ADFX-02 says: I suggest that you look it up in a book later.

Songstress of the PLANTs says: Okay.

Kira Yamato says:drops an anvil on Pixy's head:

ADFX-02 says: I'll get you for that.

Kira Yamato says: And how are you going to get me?

ADFX-02 says: (hits Kira on the head with a mallet) That's how.

Kira Yamato says: Ouch…

ADFX-02 says: Shack on the target. (laughs)

ADFX-01 says: Cans of whoopee, anyone?

Kira Yamato says: The last time you opened those, the place got all stunk up.

ADFX-02 says: Whoa, you serious?

Kira Yamato says: Yep, he opened them all at once. It left the house under decontamination for two years. TWO DAMN YEARS!

ADFX-02 says: Nasty.

ADFX-01 says: And that's not the worst part, five damn ELEPHANTS came out of the cans and broke everything.

ADFX-02 says: Ouch.

Kira Yamato says: Don't even think of reminding me of how those things got in there.

ILoveAGirlNamedLN has joined the conversation.

ADFX-01 says: Hello there, Joule.

ILoveAGirlNamedLN says: …(twitch)

X19A says? What's beating him?

ADFX-01 says: Dunno.

ILoveAGirlNamedLN has left the conversation.

Akatsuki says: He's probably heading over to your house, LN. Look out.

TearShield Alchemist says: I already have that under wraps, Cagalli, everything's locked over here.

Akatsuki says: Phew.

TearShield Alchemist says: OMG, he blew the door down-

TearShield Alchemist has left the conversation.

Akatsuki says: They're probably "getting it on" right now.

Kira Yamato says: Kinky.

X19A says: Hold back your sick thoughts, Kira.

Kira Yamato says: Oops…

Reality, 11:15 PM

Ellen had been pinned down on the bed with Yzak on top, and that's as far as I'll go before this turns into a rated M story.

Conversation, 11:20 PM

ADFX-02 says: And then his head inflates into a gelatin ball.

Akatsuki says:laughs out loud: What kind?

ADFX-02 says: Peanut jelly.

Akatsuki says: (laughs so hard her lungs burst) Ouch…

X19A says: See what happens when you laugh so much?

Akatsuki says: Yeah, I know…

ADFX-01 says: Well, I'm getting some bed rest for today. See you guys later.

Everyone says: See ya, Testament.

All users have left the conversation. (GOOD NIGHT TO ALL!)

**VM: Woot! One-shot over! Anyway, R&R, all! See you later!**


End file.
